Who are you waiting to become?

Elterwater . Johnny Gios

Who are you?

What would your answer be to this?

Has it changed at all? Do others have a different say in who you are?

We were taught to build a personality from external opinions. We were conditioned to look outside ourselves for our success and worth, how to act, what to wear, how to be in this world. We are self created from opinions! A tapestry of pieces of others we listened to.

How is your self creation? Do you like what you have created or are you striving for better, for more?

I created perfectionism born of not enough and of wishes to do better next time. It impacted how I was every day in my search to improve. I had to be the best, do better, run ahead so that nobody could see how imperfect I really was.

How are you NOW, in this moment as you read this?

How do you wake up each morning and begin your day?

Are you jumping out of bed relishing the thought of another day in paradise?

Perhaps you set an intention, say a mantra, or maybe you sigh and brace yourself to work, work, work, always trying to become - a silent witness to this becoming one day soon.

What if you could have a mentor or a coach in your bathroom next to the toothbrush - what would they say to you about your work life or homelife? How would you like them to guide you safely through life's terrain?

Perceptions , memories, and imagination are human tools for navigating our lives. We don't always get them right. Perceptions are certainly not always to be believed either. Let's take a deeper look.

Transcending those Perceptions of Doubt

I had a client who was struggling with work, they had changed one career trajectory for a new one hoping it would ease their self doubt and lack of surety in the leaders they worked for. It didn't. They swamped themselves into a whole new work scene with hugely different structures and personalities to manage. Their original misapprehension expanded wildly. It was how they survived. They battled to prove themselves externally to each new department and regain some of the composure felt before the insecurities and doubts began to niggle once more. Have you ever done anything like this? I know I innocently did.

We are taught to create who we are through measuring ourselves externally, conditionally. Success is always one more qualification, one team promotion or one person away and we become exhausted in our effort to control something more. Something built on external moveable foundations and dis- ease. WE keep on trying with more and more effort.

We label the barriers to our easier life as lack of time, lack of money, we try blame, judgement (mainly of us!) We feel discomfort, frustration, insecure, we experience challenging situations, relentless demands, being out of control, being far too busy. We are filled with with resentment, exhausted from effort & seeking impossible approval.

And we are stuck in a feedback loop - unless we see through it with a different perception.

My client was exhausted , frustrated, and began to doubt their capabilities. They were stuck in the minutiae of everyone else's muddy details about how they should be. (Their perception with the brain colluding and imagination adding reasons to dwell further on this doubt).This habit begins from early conditional beliefs about the way life should be.

Was their perception truly broken? IS YOURS TOO? Could it be fixed? Was my client always going to be just too far from enough?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO at this point?

Actually, once you become aware that the way your life is going doesn't work for you, it's a great time to pause instead of doing more. YES, to pause! To pause exactly at that point of being stuck or anywhere before that point on the loop.

Behind all the white noise of life's should's and need to's lies the truth of our most natural way of being and its always so close, just beneath the surface.

The Stillness of Now

We are not the echoes of regret lying in the past, nor are we our unfulfilled wishes in the out of reach future.

We ARE THE STILLNESS of that pause. That pause is our true presence, the space before cognition, comparison, and self judgement.

We don't see any need to perform in stillness, we are untouched by thoughts that drive our lack of value; untouched by opinion or circumstance that measure us we surrender to this quiet knowing space present in our breath, a pause, in the unconditional nature of our being. Letting go of the world's idea of who to be and of the never ending chase to become better.

We discover an ease here and when the doubts and noises return, we know how to be the observer, remembering who we are through our silence in the moment.

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